Stealing and malaria in Alaska

Standing in line at a pharmacy here in Anchorage, two conversations are overheard, almost simultaneously:

Man on cell phone: "You stole something?", then quietly "What did you steal? Where are you? Oh god..." (he leaves)

Pharmacist to guy that looks like he's from India: "You have malaria?! Malaria???"

I promise I don't make this stuff up, I just report it.